A Lot on My Mind

 

 

So, you may have noticed that I have been strangely silent in the past couple of months. If you know me well, you know that silence is far from my usual MO. Well, as you can see from the picture above, I majorly injured myself! Shocker, I know. LOL! Long story short, I was sparring in karate and ended up breaking my pinky finger in two places and also broke a bone in my wrist. It was incredibly painful, but moreover, it has been SO stressful!

 

Because of the injury, I ended up losing my job and my ability to do many of the things I really enjoy doing such as karate, rock climbing and blogging (typing) to name a few. For a few days, I threw myself a MAJOR pity party. It wasn't cute at all! I pouted...a LOT. I'm grateful that I was home alone for most of this ugly period because I am not at all proud of it.

 

However, after a few days, I decided to try and make the best of the situation and spend some real time in introspection and prayer. It is sad that it took a major accident to get me to slow down long enough to spend some real time with myself, thinking about who I am and who I hope to be.

 

There are many things that I hope to get to discuss in the near future, but the one most major thing that I have learned from this down time is just how grateful I am for my overall health. I couldn't help but to think about people who are facing far harder injuries, illnesses and disabilities than I. Specifically, I spent a lot of time thinking about my son. Here I was, literally pouting over not being able to live as fully as I normally do, while my own little boy kept getting up every single day with a smile on his face. For him, and so many others, a cast, surgery, therapy and time will not "fix" the things that hold them back. I do not mean to say that I can even come close to relating to having a serious disability or illness, but I can relate to struggling to meet my own simple needs. For instance, it would take me about an hour to take a shower, simply because I had to do everything one handed. It was incredibly challenging...and FRUSTRATING!

 

Seemingly simple tasks like dressing, cooking, cleaning, and putting on makeup were often so stressful that I chose not to do them! Like I said before, it wasn't pretty. But every time I struggled to zip a pair of jeans or to switch laundry from the washer to the dryer, I was again reminded that my situation was temporary. I would eventually heal.

 

So, what does that mean for my son and every other person who will not? To me, it created an even greater sense of appreciation, awe and inspiration. What takes a "normal" child just moments to do, my son will struggle with for hours. But you know what? He NEVER gives up! In fact, I've never even seen him pout. To him, working harder and longer is a part of who he is, even when all of the other kids who don't work nearly so hard surpass him. And instead of being bitter or resentful, Joshua celebrates the successes that others are having that he is not. It is truly inspiring!

 

While this injury has been far from fun, I have learned to be grateful and a whole lot more humble knowing that I have it so much easier than so many people, including my sweet little boy. It's amazing what I've taken for granted without even knowing I was doing it. It has definitely given reason for pause.